From the Ross Report: "The more I think about it, the more I enjoyed participating with the superstars and the McMahons on the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade." OMG, JR broke kayfabe in the Ross Report! Hes supposed to hate the McMahons especially Vince but here comes JR exposing the business! 4 shame JR 4 shame!
As u probably all know Vince McMahon has become a ass obsessed perverted ego-maniac! And Vince lives his gimmic likes hes a method actor! And he prances and dances around backstage with no pants on slapping his ass and saying "Oh yeah, I have a HOT ass, ooooooh yeah, baby!"! And there will be a new memmber of teh kiss his ass club on Monday and that member will be Rikishi! and Vince will say he is angry that Rikishi didnt lose enough weight and tells rikiish to kiss his ass or hes fired! but then rikishi gives vince a super kick and then gives him the stinky face! Butt then when vince standz up he is SMILING and he LIKED getting the stinky face and he hugz rikishi and it was a set up all along!!!!
Teh plan is already in motion 4 Tripel H's return! and my sources in Titan towers tell me that it will all start on Monday! Someone will try to drop a bucket of cement on Austins head! Then Austin will come out and say "I'm still trying to find the sumbitch that tried to drop a bucket of cement on my head" then Motorhead will play and OMG it's the game! The Triple H will say "your search, your long search is over. It's all over. Now you know, you stupid son of a bitch!" so Austin will stun him! then he'll drag him out back and put Triple H in a dumpster! then Austin steals a semi truck and rams it into the dumpster! and then he says "that, what, ain't, what, good, what, enoug, what?" and he gets a monster truck and runs over the alreayd crushed dumpster! and then he empties a can of gas over Tripel H and sez "now we have a greenwich bbq!" and sets the dumpster on fire! Then JR screams "SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP, THEY KILLED HIM, THEY FUCKING KILLED HIM! OOOOOH, SATAN BETTER OPEN THE DOORS TO HELL, CAUSE OLD SAINT PETER DAMN SURE AIN'T GONNA LET THAT BASTARD INTO HEAVEN!".
Now that all the Alliance guys are out of work, they all have to get new jobs like Lance Storm did! And The Hurrican will work in a comic book shop and Chavo will sell Avon again and Booker T will be the new booker for the XWF! And he will book his brotha Stevie Ray to beet Hulk Hogan! And Hugh Morrus will be a stand up comedian, but no one will laugh at him so he does a no laughing matters off the stage into the audiance but he misses and ruptures his spleen! And Paul Heyman will work for MTV casue hes a sell out just like all those bands on MTV are sell outs!
Tazz is going to get six inches lifts in hiss boots to make him 5'11.
The WWF has closed nagoteatieons (sp?) with Kevin Nash after he demanded to be payed a 10 million dollars a year and to work only four dayz a month! The WWF will bring in a new outsiders who will be Scott Hall and Big Scott Norton!
As you proabaly know the Undertake is a political animal backstage and he books his own angles and he wanted 2 turn heel because he has alreayd beaten all the heelz clean and no sold them and now he wants to beat all the faces clean and no sell them! and his angle with RVD is a worked shoot because undertaker cut himself shaving when RVD was in the room and he blamed RVD for it and now he hates RVD! and taker will shoot on RVD at vengance and no sell for him and Vince wont disapline taker cause he is too busy shaking his booty and besides he is scared of Taker! And someone has to stop that political assassins undertaker cause he is a cancer who is ruining the business IMHO!
Teh reason why Trish Status was away for a few weekz was because she was in Japan training with the Japanese woment to improve her workratE! And that is why her matches are so much better now! this reporter has always said that Trish inst just a pretty face...she has huge tits 2 lol!
WWF is going to do a cross over with Star Trek beacuase they r both on TNN and this cross over will be Michael Dorn and Tony Todd and they will be cold the Klingon Konnection! And they will fight the Dudleyz and teh Dudleyz will give Worf 3D thru a tabel but he will NO SELL it because of his forehead ridges! But then Kurn will hit Worf with his batleth and say "It's your fault our family has no honor!" and Kurn will be a top heel!
FACT OF THE DAY: Headbanger Mosh is a certified public accountant!
THOUGHTS ON RAW: It ruled!
THOUGHTS ON SMACKDOON: It ruled all that their is 2 ruel!
Here si an exclusive interview conducted over teh phone with former WWF star Mick Foley! Mick foley was fired from the WWF and he is noww all bitter and twisted! And in this interview he shoots all over the place so here is the interview now!
Me: Hey dood.
Me: OMG dood, I'm soo sorry that u were fired from teh WWF.
Foley: Uh, thanks, but I wasn't fired, I quit.
Me: OMG dood, I'm so sorry that Vince forced you to quit by making the WWF suck so much!
Foley: Well, he didn't really force me to do anything...
Me: Why do you thinkVince decided to make the WWF suck so much?
Foley: Umm, I don't think it was intentional. I think many of the writers were burnt outand I think the invasion angle was botched and...
Me: Yeah i blame in on vince macmahon too what did you think of vince showing his ass on raw I thought it was disgusting.
Foley: I actually thought it was quite funny.
Me: Yeah, I wouldn't let my kidz watch it either!
Me: I understand that you hate the Rock for hitting you with that chair two dozen times at Royal Rumble.
Foley: Nah, I forgave him for that, we're good friends now.
Me: I can't belive that bitch shot on you with those chair shots.
Foley: Are you even listening to me?
Me: Sure dood! If you had to guess, how many chair shots do you think youve taken in your life?
Foley: Probably about 27 million (laughs).
Me: OMG, that many, wow, no wonder you have the brain damage!
Foley: It was a joke.
Me: lol its good that you have a sense of humor about your brain damage. Is it true that you started wrestling as Moby Mick?
Me: Maybe u just forget because your brain is broken! Now that you are no longer with the WWF u can dish the dirt so tell me some dirty secrets about WWF superstars!
Foley: I'm friends with most of the WWF wrestlers, I'm not going to tell you any dirt on them!
Me: Oh come on at least tell me which wrestlers are gayosexul!
Me: Come on is Billy Gunn a gay? Jeff Hardy? Raven? Pat Patterson.
Foley: Yes, Pat Patterson is gay. Happpy?
Me: Wow, I can't believe it! Thanx 4 that!
Foley: No problem...
Me: What do you think was your best match was it hell in a cell?
Foley: I think it was my match against Shawn Michaels at Mind Games.
Me: What? I dont remmber what one what about hell in the cell?
Foley: Well, the hell in the cell match was really just two big bumps.
Me: Yeah those bumps ruled that was teh kewlest match ever!
Foley: I'd like to think I'll be remembered for more than just that match.
Foley: Why did I agree to do this interview?
Me: Cause I said u could plug your book!
Foley: Oh yeah! Kids, remember to buy Mick Foley's Easter Excitment, coming this easter!
Me: YOUR PATHETIC!
OMG, what a bitter and twisted sad old washed up wrestler Mick Foley is!
BACK NEXT WWEEK WIT MORE HOT NEWZ 4 MY HOMIEZ!
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