Randy Macho King Savage will make a big announcement this Monday on some other website (if its not SlashWrestling then its not worth reading TAHT SHOULD BE OUR MOTTO CRZ!) and that major announcment will be that he is going to marry Miss Elizabeth on the Jay Leno show then hes going to fight Spidey Man, oh yeah!
The WWF rooster is going to be split into 2 soon! And Vicne McMahons company will be called WWF1 and Rick Flairs will be called WWF2! And this means the return of underutilized talent like Val Venis, Dean Malenko, Gangrel and the Big Boss Man! And he will be renamed as The Big Hoss Man as a rib on JR!
The WWF fired dozens of old double ya see double ya guyz and developmental guyz this week! And they fired FAT Lash Laroo and GAY Kid Romeo, good riddecne I say! This just proves what I always said doulble ya see double ya SUX! and they shoudl fire all the WCW guyz apart from The Hurricance cause he is the kewlest super hereo since Aquaman!
JR said in teh Ross Report "Chris Benoit is rehabbing at home and doing very well. He’s still several months away from being released." OMG, they are going to release Benoit from his contract in several months even though he hasa broken neck! The WWF R heartless bastards!
Their's a rumor that DX will come back with Shawn Micheals as there leader! But I dont believe it because Shawn Michales is 41 and X-Poc is retired! and wh would the WWF bring back an old group from 1996!?
Booker T stealling Austins car wasn't racist, its part of a storyline! And on Raw Booker will be arrested for stealing austins hubcaps and he'll be thrown in jail! and Faarook will already be in jail for stealing Undertakers bike! And the Godfather will be in jail for pimping hoes NATIONWIDE! and D'Lo Brown will be in jail for killing Terri's baby! and K-Kwick will be in jail for impersonating a wrestler! And Booker will say "lets reform the Nation of Dominateon!" and they will! And they'll break out of jail and the NOD return to the WWF but with a twist theyre faces this time! And Destinys Child will sing there entrance music! and they will promote positive images of people of colour! And the crowd will chant "Damn!" with Faarook like they chant "what" with old Stone cold!
One of my sources high in Titan Towers manages to steal a copy of the vengance booking sheet from Vince McManon's desk! But dont read this if you dont want the whole stinking ppv SPOILERED for u!
Al Snow vs Christian - this match will be added on heat again when Christian askz all what the captial of Europe is and Al answers correctly that its London! and Christian wins the match when he hits al with swedish meat balls!
Trish vs Jackie - Trish flashes Jackie and Jackie faints (she butters her bread on the other side!) and Trish wins!
The Rock vs Jericho - this one will be a grate match! And Jerich winz when Trish turns heel on Rock! And then Trish takes her shirt off and she is wearing a canadian flag and she makes out with Canadian Jericho! But then Jericho sayz "hit the bricks sista I got what I want" and leaves Trish and Rock gives Trish a Rock bottom and the peoplez elbow! And JR says "GIVE HER WHAT SHE DESERVES ROCK, GIVE THAT BITCH THE BEATING SHE DESERVES! YES, YES, MY GAWD YES, THE PEOPLES ELBOW, RIGHT IN THE BLACK HEART OF THAT WITCH, THAT BITCH, THAT SLUT, THAT JEZABELL TRISH STRATUS! LOOK AT THAT BITCH WRITHE IN PAIN, JUST LIKE SHE DESERVES TO!".
Stone Cold Steve austin vs Kurt angel - Austin is about to win when Booker T drives down to the ring in Austin's truck and beeps the horn to distract Austin! And then Angle rolls up Austin and holds his tights and puts his feet on the ropes but Austin kicks out! And then austin backdrops Kurt thru the widescreen of the truck! And then he stuns Booker and backs the truck up over him! And then he drinks sixteen beers and throws Kurt back in the ring and stunners him for tha win!
Test vs Earl Hebner - Test wins in four seconds with the big foot. Then Test says "since I'm immune I can tell you all what Stephanie's like in bed!" but the hip hop hippo fat Ablert runs down to save Stephs honour!
Edge vs William Regal - Regal throws hot tea in Edge eys and loses by DQ!
Matt Hardy vs Jeff Hardy - Lita is wearing a TIGHT referee shirt and a THONG that goes UP her ass CRACK. and matt wins with a twist of fate.
Big Show and Kane vs Dudleys - this is the heavyest tag match ever! And Dudleys give Show 3d but the ring collapses and the titels are vacant! and it takes them forty mintutes to put the ring back up so Stacy does a striptease on the roof!
Undertaker vs Rob Van Damn - RVD wins with a backslide!
Austin vs Jericho - All the booking sheet sayz is that the end of this match will be "overbooked"! So heres what I think will happen: Austin hits da stunner but Vince pulls the ref out! So austin hits vince with a chair and jericho his the lionsault! And then another refeeree runs in but only gets two! and then jericho stuns austin but only two! and the walls of jeriko only gets two! so Y2J hits the referee! Then Vince comes in to ref and Angle runs in and hits Austin with his gold medals but it only gets two! Then rock comes in and accidently powerbombs Austin! But Ric Flair puts Vince McMahon in a figure four! And Austin hits the stunner again and Flair can't coutn 'casue he's on his back! So Rock counts but Vince says that doesn't count! But then Trish runs in and gives Jericho a low blow and stratisfaction and JR says "YES, YES, BY GAWD YES, GIVE THAT RAT BASTARD WHAT HE DESERVES! DO IT FOR WOMEN EVERYWHERE, TRISH!" but then IT'S ALL ABOUT THE GAME, cause here's Tripel H! And Hunter hits everyone in the ring with his sledgehammer and then he puts on a referees shirt! then HHH lies on Austin and Jeriho and counts himself winner with his own hands and leaves with both belts!
OMG, it's going to bee the best pee pee vee ever!
This week I decided to interview Teh Sandman 4 my peepz! Sandman is a former five time ECW chameon and he is also a drunk! And here is the interview!
Me: OMG, it's the Sandman!
Sandman: Hey.
Me: How much have you had to drink today?
Sandman: I've actually given up alcohol.
Me: lol but seriously I bet you've had two litres of vodka!
Sandman: Eh?
Me: lol your so drunk you cant understand me this will be funnee!
Sandman: I think one of us has definitely been drinking...
Me: Yeah U! What was your best match?
Sandman: I really enjoyed my matches with Rhyno.
Me: Yeah, he GORE GORE GORED you thru all those tables!
Sandman: Yeah, I enjoyed putting him over.
Me: and I bet he enjoyed kicking your sorry ass!
Sandman: Now look kid..
Me: What did you think of your stay in wCW did they misuse you did you think WCW sucked like I think?
Sandman: I think they put me to pretty good use. I was injured for most of the time I was there, so they couldn't really use me much...
Me: YEah, Bischoff is a fagmo who misuses talent! What did you think of Hulk Hogan is he an asshole?
Sandman: He seemed like a nice guy.
Me: your sucking up cause you want to work of the XWF!
Sandman: (sighs)
Me: What about that crucifiction angle that was controversial.
Sandman: Yeah, Heyman was always pushing the boundries...
Me: Why did he make you Jesus do you think your bigger than Jesus dood?
Sandman: Of course not, what a stupid question...
Me: Is it true that Kurt Angle punched out Heyman when he saw that and accused Heyman of being a minion of Satan?
Sandman: Are you for real?
Me: What's the most you ever drank before a match?
Sandman: Um, half a gallon of vodka and a six pack of beer.
Me: OMG, you are a big alcoholic!
Sandman: Look kid, I'm not an alcoholic and I'd prefer it if you stopped refering to me as one.
Me: Is it true that you once brushed your pubic hair with Dawn Marie's comb then swallowed the comb whole then took a crap and fished the comb out of the toilet then gave it back to Dawn Marie and she slapped you and broke your jaw?
Sandman: ....yeah, that actually happened...
Me: HAHAHAH, YOU ALCOHOLIC!
(phonecall ends)
I showed him!
BACK NEXT WEEK WIT MORE HOT NEWZZZZ!
(please credit HotWWFNewz and SlashWrestling.com when using these newz items OR I'LL SUE U!!!!)
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