Undertakers matchs with Hardy Boyz were SHOOTS! And the Hardyz are in the dog house because Jeff arrived two minutes late for raw and Matt didn't ask before he used the bathroom! And Taker is the consceince of the WWF so he beat some respect into them! And Crash Holly forgot to brush his teeth last week so Taker will chokeslam him off the titan tron!
As u know, The Game HHH will come back on Januart 7 JUST LIKE I SAID LAST WEEK!!!!! But now he'll come out wearing a rubber Frakenstien mask and JR will say "WHO THE FUCK IS THAT, KING?" and he'll start to take the mask off but the show will end and it'll be a cliff hanger!!!!!
THE YEAR IN REVIEW PART ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2001 and was a great year becuze Trllionaire Ted finally realised that double ya see double ya SUXED and he sold it to Shane O MacMahon! but then vince put WCW out of business permanently and everyone was happy! part two next week where I review the feud between Lita and China!
The WWF taped Smackdown last night so that the wrestlers can get home in time for the holidayz! And I was at Smackdown last night so here is some spoillers!!!!!!
Lilian Garcia sings the national anthem!!!! And I could see up her skirt!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vince McMahon comes out dressed at Santa Claus! And he says he'll let all the ladies of the WWF sit on his lap and he'll give them a special VKM present from his big sack! And first Stacy Keibler gives him a lap dance! But then this big women we've never seen before comes out and gives Vince a rock bottom and takes off her wig and she's The Rock!!!!! And Rocky sez "you pervert, you ain't Santa Clause, your SATAN CLAWZ if you smellalalalalala what I'm cooking!".
Next match was Tazz vs Christian! And Christian won in 18 seconds when he hit Tazz with a turkey! And then Christian said "I like my turkey with stuffing...brick stuffing!" and he pulled a brick out of the turkey!
Test is backstage and he's holding missletoe over his head! And he tells Trish that she has to kiss him so he does. Then he holds the Missletoe over his CROTCH! and Trish sayz close your eyes but when he opens them MAE YOUNG is standing their in a elf costume! And Test says "HOLY SHIT,
NOOOOOOOOOO!".
Next was Hurricane vs Tajiri! And Hurricane sez "hey Torrie do you want to be my new sidekick you can be breast woman what do you think babe?" and Torrie sez "sure" and Tajiri goes old school ECDUBYA crazy on everyone and spits green mist on Tajiri and red mist on Mighty Molly and PURPLE mist on Torrie! And then he puts the tararantulla on Torrie but SICK BOY makes the save!!!!!!!!!!! and Scott Vick has finally debuted after two years and he pukes cause he had 2 much Christmass pudding and he gets fired the next day!
Lance Storms asked Rick Flair to give him a crappy oponent so he can get a win so Flair sez Storm can fight a dead man!!! And lance says "oh boy this will be easy Ill win for canada" but the dead man is undertaker!!!!!!!!!!! And undertaker NO SALES everything Lance does then tombstons him thru the spanish announcer table!!!!!!!!
Next match was Dudlyez vs Tajiri and Torrie Wilson but I missed teh match becauze this girl was flashing the crowd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and she flashed me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And later that night she and me get together and I'm no Fred Flinston but I rocked her bed ;-)!!!!!
Next vince MacMahon was angry backstage!!!!! And he was saying BAH HUMBUG to everyone so Patterson and Briscoe (they r back!!!) decided to Scrooge him!!!!!!!! So Patterson dressed up as a scary ghost to scare vince and he went into Mcmahons office but it was LINDA McMahon's office!!!!!! And Linda was so scared that she actually showed emoteon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Next match was Edge was William Regal and Regals nose started bleeding all over the place and Edge slid on the blood and Regal is the new Intercontenintal champion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Next was Lita vs Jackie in a christmas present match!!!!!! and they were both wearing HIZZOT santa outfits they had to open this big Chrismas present and Jackie opened it and it was Haku!!!!! And Haku put them in a double tongan death grip and dragged them backstage for a merry somoan Christmas!!!! :-)
Next Booker Tea was hiding from Austin again!!!!!!!!! and this week he was hiding on the set of Enterprise cause both shoes are on TNN and it was cross promoteon!!! And he was sitting in the captian's chair but then Austin appeared on the view screen! And Austin sez "i aint on Klingon what and I aint no vulcan what I am from planet REDNECK! WHat?" And Booker runs away and he runs into the transporter room!!! and he tries to transport away cuz he doesnt realise it's only a set cuz he is dumb!! And then Booker grabs a phaser but that don't work neither!!!! but then that hot Vulcan chick with the rack appears and stops austin from opening a can of whoop ass and sez "this ship is a sanctury for peace and love" and Booker runs away and Austin sez "peace and love this ya big eared bitch" and stuns her and Scott Bakula cheers!
Next was the main event
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and it was Jerich vs rvd and rvd busted Jericho open with a stiff kick then Jericho botched the lion sault then the lifts fell out his boots and he ran away and RVD thanked the fanz for coming and the show was over!!!! and it was the best WWF show EEEEEEEVER!
that's allmost it for this week but I decided to get some festive wishes from WWF superstars and here they are merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!1
Tazz: Yeah, Christmas, Brooklyn style, yeah, we didn't have no tree down in the Hook, no, we hads a SHRUB and we didn't have none of dat fancy turkey, no, all we hads was a roasted RAT between 17 of us, yeah, and if anyone came down our chimmney I'D CHOKE THEM OUT!
JR: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS, YOU WERE THE ORIGINAL HOSS BY GAWD!
Brad Shaw: I hope Billy Silverman is having a merry Christmas....on the unemployment line! HA HA HA!
Godfather: What does the Godfather want for Christmas? Ho ho ho! I want a sweater.
Dean Malenko: Merry Christmas! Maybe 2002 will be the year when Vince gives me a big retirement match on PPV! What? Why are you laughing?
Stone Cold Steve Austin: Merry, what, Christmas, what, and, what, a, what, happy, what, new, what, year, what?
Big Bossman: I'm going to have a fine Christmas dinner...I'm eating Pepper the dog and Big Show's dead daddy!
Trish: Well we don't have Christmas up here in Canada, but merry Christmas anyway!
Kane: All I want for Christmas is a new voice box so I get more mic time!
OMG KANE IS A COMEDIAN, ROTFLMFAO!!! Back next week wit more hot newz!
(Please credit HotWWFNewz and SlashWrestling when stealing these newz itemz, doodz.)
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