WrestlemAnia weekend and you can see it LIVE ON PAPER VIEW!!! And I've got
lots of HUGE WrestleMania newz and an interview with a man who has main
As you know, the WWF wanted Bret Hart to be the guest ref in the
WrestleMania match between Tripel H and Jeriko. And Jeriko would put H in
the sharpshooter and Bret says "RING THE FUCKING BELL!" and then Bret would
kiss Stephanie! And bret says that Vince stole his son (since Blade Hart
used to write for WWF magazine!) and now he's stoled Vinces daughter! but
it wont happen because Bret demanded that Vince give hiim every piece of
video tape in the entire world that has Bret on it!
Alanis Morissette and Bryan Adams will sing a duet of the canuck national
anthem at WrestleMania!!!
The rick Flair/Undertaker feud will continue after WM! And on Raw, Flair
will come out and say "Whoo, I slept with Sara, whoo!" and plays footage of
himself in bed wiht Sara! But then Undertaker comes out and says "I had sex
with you're wife, Flair!" and plays footage of himself in bed with Mrs.
Flair! But then Flair says "I knew you'd do that, guess what? My wife has
HERPES, WHOOO!" and then he struts and Undertaker says "Damn you, Flair!".
ONe thing you wont see at WrestleMania is chops! The WWF has banned the use
of chops after Stone Cold chopped Scott Halls nipple off at a house show!!!
And that's why Scott Hall has a plaster on his chest now!!!
The WWF rooster will split into two after WM!! And Flaires company will be
called Space Mountain Wrestling and Vinces' will be called the Grapefruit
The WWFs next special on UPN will be called "The WWF's greatest visible
Here is the booking sheet for WrestleManiA!!! A WWF wrestler who hasn't
been on tv for months sold me this for $50 dollars!!! He wanted to remain
anomynous so I'll just say thanx dood, you put the CHEESE in Head Cheese!!
Maven vs Al Snow vs Goldust vs Big Slow (lol) for the hardcore titel - Maven
gives everyone the DROPKICK OF DOOM~! but then Tazz and Spike Dudley run in
and say "hey remember us we were the tag champions!" and get a double pin on
Rikishi, Albert and Scotty 2 Botty vs Mr Perfect, Test(icle) (lol) and Lance
Storm - The booking sheet says "nobody cares about this match so have Storm
job or something then have five minutes of dancing".
DDP vs Christina - DDP keeps smiling and trying to hug Christian, so
Christian hits him with a Canadian Hockey stick for the win!
Jazz vs Lita vs Trish - Teh booking sheet sez "Make sure Trish's boobs pop
out, it'll get a big pop (pun intended!) and the King can yell "whoohoo,
Puppies!!!!". Oh, and Lita wins with that move that she does".
The Dudleyz vs The Hardyz vs The Akolights vs Billy Chuck - Billy and Chuck
squel like teenage girls when the Hardys take there shirts off! And Stacy
tries to distract Billy with her ass and Billy looks for a second but Chuck
says "don't touch her ass, you'll get cooties! But then Billy and Chuck
just lie down and let Farook and Brad Shaw pin them!! And the APA are
confused but Chuck says "you can show us your appreciation in the
RVD vs William Regal - RVD wins after he kicks Regal in the face! Then RVD
takes his boot off and shows he has brass knux on his toes!
Booker Tea vs Edge - Tajiri runs out and sprays Japenese shampoo in Bookers
eyes, but then he sprays it in Edge's eyes too! And then Torrie shaves
Booker and Edge's heads!! And tehn Tajiri says "HA HA HA! Now that you
have no hair I gets to do the shampoo commerical because I am EVIL!
>Kane vs Kurt Angel - Kane is about to tombstone Kurt through the announce
table when Pete Rose runs in and hes HUGE! he's been working out for the
last two years to get revenge on Kane and he gives Kane an olympic slam!
THen a tombstone! And Kurt gets the win! Then Pete does a moonsault!!
Rick Flair vs The Undertaker - Flair dies of old age but falls on
Undertaker's balls and gets the three! But then Undertaker NO SELLS it and
takes Flair away in a casket! (don't worry fans, it's later revealed that
Flair is really just in a coma!).
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Scott Hall - Austin wants to make it a six pack
on a pole match, but Hall says that a six pack isn't enough for him! So
they put this big crate of beer up on the pole but it falls off and hits
Austin on the head and Hall wins.
Tripel H vs Chris Jeriko - Since they cant do the Bret Hart angle they do
plan bee! And that is that Jeriko puts H in the walls of Jericho and then
Stephanei comes out carrying Lucy! And Stephanie says "I'll BREAK LUCY'S
DAMN NECK if you don't TAP OUT!" So Trip taps out like a drunk man! And
Jericho wins. But then Stephanie pulls the cast off of Lucys leg!!! And
Luch runs to Triple H and BITES HIM IN THE BALLS! And then Stephanei hugs
Lucy and kisses her! And JR says "GOOD GAWD, THAT BITCH LUCY JUST SCREWED
TRIPLE H AND BIT HIM IN THE BALLS! A DOG'S SUPPOSED TO BE MAN'S BEST
FRIEND, BUT LUCY JUST BECAME TRIPLE H'S BEST ENEMY!"!!!!!
The Rock vs HollyWood Hulkster Hogan - Rocks wins in 30 seconds with a Rock
WOW! It's gonna be the Greatest Wrestlemania of all time!!
WRESTLEMANIA SIGN IDEAZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hate Canadians!!!!
Nash jobbed to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!! (he played Skinner in that
Bring back Andre (it's funny because he's DEAD!)
I'm an EdgeHead...NOT!
Lita has punk tattooed on the inside of her lip. Believe me, I've seen it!
Big Show ate Spike and Tazz!!!!
I thought I bought tickets to the ballet!
BUTTERBEAN IS 1-0 IN WRESTLEMANIAS!!!!!!!!
Now for this weeks interview with a man wh9o has headlined a
WrestleMania...LAWERANCE TAYLOR!!! Good ol' LT thought Bam Bam Bigelow at
WM12!!! Or 11, maybe. Anyway, here is the interview!
Me: Hello LT!
Me: You headlined Wrestlemania against Bam Bam Bigelow!!
LT: Hell yeah!
Me: So...what was that like?
LT: I knocked his tattooed ass out with a forearmn from the second rope!
Me: His ass is tattooed? WTF?
Me: So what do you do when you're not wrestling?
LT: Uh, I was a football player...
Me: Really? Dood, I had no idea!
LT: Aren't you going to ask me about my football career?
Me: Nah, football sux.
LT: It does not!
Me: So, do you really hate Bam Bam Bigelow?
LT: Nah, we're actually good friends. In fact, we went out on a double date
with Salt 'N' Pepper right after WrestleMania!
LT: Yeah! I took out Salt and Bam Bam took out Pepper. Wait, maybe it was
the other way around....whatever, I ended up in a threesome with them that
Me: Yeah, I bet you ended up in a threesome with Bam Bam and Mongo
McMichael, you kweer!
LT: No, with Salt and Pepper.
LT: You're funny.
Me: And you suck! And Salt and Pepper's song "LT is a mighty fine man"
LT: My powerbomb was good though, wasn't it?
Me: Yeah, that ruled!
LT: Diesel taught me that, you know. Does he still wrestle?
Me: Not well lol!!!!
LT: Can I go now?
BACTK SOOON WITH MORE HOTW NEZWZ FOR SMY HOMIEZ!!!!@!!!!!!
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